Hints For C Programmers

How to Program in C

1. Use lots of global variables.
   
2. Give them cryptic names such as: X27, a_gcl, or Horace.
   
3. Put everything in one large .h file.
   
4. Implement the entire project at once.
   
5. Use macros and #defines to emulate Pascal.
   
6. Assume the compiler takes care of all the little details you didn't quite understand.
   

How to Debug a C Program

1. If at all possible, don't. Let someone else do it.
   
2. Change majors.
   
3. Insert/remove blank lines at random spots, re-compile, and excecute.
   
4. Throw holy water on the terminal.
   
5. Dial 911 and scream.
   
6. There is rumour that "printf" is useful, but this is probably unfounded.
   
7. Port everything to CP/M.
   
8. If it still doesn't work, re-write it in assembler. This won't fix the bug, but it will make sure no one else finds it and makes you look bad.